Lost in Translation

I just wanna go home! Nothing here is comfortable. These sheets are always too warm and no one sits on the sofa drinking Pepsi waiting on me to walk through the door. There’s no laughing hysterically after a great joke, no longer saying, “stop making me laugh, I’m gonna pee”.
I went to the kitchen several times and there’s no one in there saying, “stay out till I’m done”, “well alright, you can have one bite”. I’m so lost, where am I? I don’t even know these people, why can’t I just go home?
Mom, sometimes I feel so lost without you. I love you, and I hope to see you again, but not right now. I have your granddaughters, they need me, they need me to teach them all the things you taught me. So I’ll stay a little longer, but just you know, I really just want to come home, with you.
“Relax”, her voice fills my heart. Along comes a baby girl wondering who this is in this picture. “Honey, that’s my mommy. Yes, let me tell you all about her and the wonderful things she did for me. She use to love little white fluffy doggies and…”
.
.
.
.
…and life goes on!

wp_ss_20151219_0004…after a few minutes I noticedΒ  noticed, something.

wp_ss_20151219_0002 Consoling comments. I do however appreciate them, very much but the title should have been a given if it was not, understandable, you wasn’t supposed to know.

 

Lost in Translation Pt. 2

—–First lets recap part 1—–

I just wanna go home! Nothing here is comfortable. These sheets are always too warm and no one sits on the sofa drinking Pepsi waiting on me to walk through the door. There’s no laughing hysterically after a great joke, no longer saying, “stop making me laugh, I’m gonna pee”.
I went to the kitchen several times and there’s no one in there saying, “stay out till I’m done”, “well alright, you can have one bite”. I’m so lost, where am I? I don’t even know these people, why can’t I just go home?
Mom, sometimes I feel so lost without you. I love you, and I hope to see you again, but not right now. I have your granddaughters, they need me, they need me to teach them all the things you taught me. So I’ll stay a little longer, but just you know, I really just want to come home, with you.
“Relax”, her voice fills my heart. Along comes a baby girl wondering who this is in this picture. “Honey, that’s my mommy. Yes, let me tell you all about her and the wonderful things she did for me. She use to love little white fluffy doggies and…”
.
.
.
.

…and life goes on!

Lost in Translation Pt. 2

If ever an upsetting moment could be great, it’s this one. Years ago this thought smothered me to sleep many nights, even after kissing my girls goodnight. It wasn’t until my stress peaked and mom came to me in a dream, well I found her.
I could feel her in the room and as I turned a corner I saw her sitting in what appeared to be a waiting chair as if in some sort of big business building. Her eyes looked into mine, I felt my heart thump slow and hard. As I try to get closer she was that much further away. I asked her to stay, just please stay a minute. Her smile only stopped long enough to say, “Relax”. I reached for her as she faded away, not being able to get close enough to her woke me.

You’ve taken what I’ve said so far as a moment of sadness and I’m sorry that you assumed you were right. Nothing about it is sad, and never could be taken as such, if you know me.
They’re no unhappy tears left in me, I’ve found what I was looking for, in that dream. I have long ago, before her death, turned off the sad receptors, and once I’ve left the sight of those that I do not keep close, then they are gone from my thoughts completely, until the next time we meet. In that dream however a confirmation of what I already knew was enhanced. I felt something beautiful reaching for her and not touching her, sad in that dream but wonderful once I fully awoke.
The simple fact that there is a memory of someone that loves you, can never be sad. No matter what you do or what anyone does to you, they can never take that from you. I didn’t look at it as if she was gone, but always that much closer to me walking with me for the rest of my life.
The children met her once, one sister still rags the other over a nickname she was given. Every couple of days I’m asked a different question about my mother and father and every couple of days my parents are that much closer to me. Never to be saddened by the fact that we live so far away or even that mom is no longer with us. I love telling the girls about all the great moments we shared.
I see something different in you, your actions and everything about you. I have long left what you want to show me or tell me behind, I see the real you. No matter how hard you try and hide that, I see it! Not always catching it right away but once I have, you’ll never hide anything else, because I SEE you.
Death isn’t sad, someone not physically there is but is that the only thing we focus on? The beauty is in the memories you have the moments you shared and all the strife and life lessons along the way.

This was written because we all jump to conclusions and a lot gets lost in translation, either from one person to another or because we only see or hear a part. Well, a part of something doesn’t make a whole anything. If you only look at this story as it reads the point is showing what I wrote when I published my book ‘Simply Poetry’ that said, “…no matter how wonderful or tragic life can be, it’s always Simply Poetry.”
If you look at the post that only had the first part of this story in it you’ll find in the comments that I was consoled, very thankful for that, but not necessarily what I needed because I had not finished the story and had not yet made my point. It was Lost in Translation!

To those in my life, I see you! Thank you to those that left a comment it was very much appreciated, and I’m sorry I took you on this rollercoaster ride.

Michael Milburn 2015

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